Clumsy Bones

Written by Mireia Prats Llivina · 5 February 2021 · 3 mins read

I have always been clumsy.

Bumping into walls? Check. Tripping over my shoelaces? Check. Burning my leg by spilling boiling water on it and ending up in the hospital? Unfortunately, check.

Sometimes I feel like objects should have a sensor and if I come too close, quickly take a step back. Or beep. Cars can do that. Why tables can’t? It seems unfair.

Lots of bruises have always decorated my legs. They come in all sorts of sizes and shades of blue. It’s like body paint, but free!

A few days ago, a thought stroke my mind: “Am I clumsy or just mindless?”. Hmmm. Food for thought here. My head is sometimes floating in the clouds, lost in some remote universe. Is that why I don’t see the wall that’s right in front of me? Or should I get an eye test?

I can’t help but also wonder: can someone be mindful and clumsy at the same time? Or being mindful automatically regulates your clumsiness levels? What about someone who is mindless but not clumsy? Is that a thing?

I’m just pondering something here… Is being clumsy a consequence of lack of coordination or simply briefly getting distracted from the present moment? Maybe I just have butterfingers! And clumsy bones! (Well, maybe more like clumsy joints or muscles)

Let the facts speak for themselves

According to Macmillan Dictionary, this is the definition of clumsy:

a clumsy person moves in a way that is not careful or graceful, and breaks things or knocks against them

Ouch. Graceful! Interesting. Ballet is all about harmony and graceful movement. I started attending ballet lessons two years ago. If I keep practising, will it cure my clumsiness once and for all? Are there any positions that I should focus on? (If you have insider information, please contact me) I’ve just pictured myself walking in the street and stopping to do some pliés every once in a while. Not sure if this is the solution…

I decided to do a little research. This is what I found…

Hispaniolan Solenodon
Hispaniolan Solenodon by Frank Wouters

Let me introduce you to the solenodon. This cute(ish) little fella has an insanely long nose and tiny eyes. It’s also able to survive in really horrible conditions. However, its saliva is venomous (no one is perfect, I guess). Turns out solenodons have received some nasty accusations of being slow and clumsy just because they walk in a zig-zag. Maybe they’re just trying to be graceful in their own way, like I am! (If you’re intrigued about these creatures, find more info here).

I was about to write the conclusion of this post, but then I jabbed my toe and lost the plot. Please accept my apologies. I’ll be more careful next time.

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